A purple van driven by a Social Services worker in the state of North Carolina.
The person within the van seeks Hispanic teens and whoever else needs free condoms so they can have safe sex. The social worker somehow weeds out individuals. They possess a device called a penis detector and use it to find all types of males.
Males targeted include: Hispanics, Black Peoples, Gay Males walking along the street holding hands, males that work at the pool, and people the van hits on its speedy trajectory to the next location.
This van can usually be seen sitting in front of Wal-Mart, Burger King, ABC Liquors, Dominoe's, and various high school across the state.
If you see this van, gather as many condoms from them as you can... possibly a box of 2000... Spottings are rare and limited.
Marc: We saw the condom mobile today. It was cruising around town. My boyfriend, Cody, went and asked the social worker, Mr. Doe, for some condoms.
John Doe: That was such a nice gay teen couple. I gave them condoms. I think they wanted to have sex real bad.
an instrument of destruction; the choice weapon for multi-billion dollar industries in the USA.
They raise prices several times a day. Sometimes peaking at $100 a gallon.
-Did you go get gas today at the gas station?
-No, it's too expensive. It's about $40 a gallon right now!
-Holy crap! I'd rather spend some money on a male stripper.
-Me too, man. Guys are more fun than going bankrupt.