A state of complete drunkenness; a more fervent form of wasted. It is often succeeded by a number on a 1-10 scale to
indicate the level of said quastedness.
History: It is derived from a series of typos which turned the statement "I am wasted!" into "I am qasted9" - the exclamation point was turned into a 9 during intoxication as a result of inordinate usage of the iphone touchpad keyboard. As a result, a 1-10 scale proceeds the word to indicate the level of drunkenness; 9 being anything short of being rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisioning. Over time, "qasted" was adapted to "quasted" to better conform to standard English rules.
Example 1: After chugging a bottle of Jose Cuervo, the man found himself locked in
a bathroom spewing projectile vomit on all four walls while clutching his cell phone in hand proudly texting his friend "I am quasted9" before completely blacking out.
Guy 1: You had sex with another dude last night? How drunk were you?
Guy 2: I was about quasted6, maybe quasted7.
Guy1: I'd have to be at least quasted9 to fuck another dude.
Laughing On The Inside. You know you're not really laughing out loud half the time you type "LOL," so it's time to face the facts with a little accuracy. Maybe you're chuckling or scoffing, but you're not waking up the neighbors with a thunderous heckle. LOTI is the most suitable and accurate acronym to describe your level of entertainment. Maybe you're cracking a smile, but the laughter is silent. You're not laughing out loud, you're LOTIing.
Guy #1: Two psychics pass each other on the street, one says to the other, "you're doing fine, how am I?"
Guy #2: LOTI, LOTI, man.
Someone who engages in infidelity after the consumption of wine. Characteristics include: marital disloyalty, general acts of belligerence, sacrilegious declarations, and aroused sexual prowess (often resulting in the repulsion of strangers).
Steve polished off a bottle of white Zin and proceeded to behave like a complete zinfidel, hitting on every woman in sight and dry-humping a tree after failing miserably in his attempts to woo any member of the female population.
A hard-on or insatiable desire to consume a glass of Chardonnay. It is the craving a wine connoisseur gets at a fine-dining restaurant, upper-class social gathering, opera, or cultural event. It is the need to simultaneously quench and tingle your palate combined with a need to exude subtle snobbery that can only be accomplished with a glass of a fine white wine (most commonly, a light Chardonnay).
I can't wait to get out of work, go home, and open up a bottle of Chateau Montelena 2005. I've had a Chard-on since my lunch break.